Coaching isn’t always the answer

For your first introductory call booked through our online calendar, we ask for a modest contribution of €10.

We introduced this after too many appointments were booked casually and then cancelled at the last minute — even by people who were genuinely interested. We set those times aside and often reshuffled our personal plans to be there. So if you’re serious, a €10 contribution is a fair commitment.

I, Gregor, often draw on a few simple truths. One of them is:

Before you help someone heal, ask whether they’re willing to let go of the things that made them ill.

And right after that comes the next piece of wisdom:

Show an intelligent person their mistake and they’ll thank you; show a fool their mistakes and they’ll take offence.

To put it in simple terms:

Letting go of the things that make you ill requires a few things:

  • Trust in me, as your coach, to ask the right questions. At times, those questions may feel uncomfortable — many people don’t welcome that and take them personally.
  • Capacity to take criticism. When you can receive feedback, you gain acceptance — above all, the acceptance to see things as they are and to embrace them. That can shake your self-concept. In our dialogue, I may challenge that self-image; sometimes it needs to be shaken. Robert Betz’s term “Arsch-Engel” describes this exactly.
  • A willingness to leave your comfort zone. Don’t take the path of least resistance. Life begins where your comfort zone ends.
  • No more quick fixes for cognitive dissonance. I’ll call it out when it appears. Those who truly want change find ways; those who don’t, find reasons. And when someone keeps reaching for reasons (read: excuses), I’ll point that out too — many people take it personally.
  • Respect for me as your coach. It’s quickly lost when you’re in the mindset of looking for someone to blame for your pain. People in that place often expect someone to be responsible for their happiness, too. I am responsible for neither.
  • If, after a spell of pain with no real improvement, you’ve realised you need someone who will — quite bluntly — “give you a kick up the backside” rather than join the lament, you’re in the right place with me. Before I give up on anyone, they usually give up on themselves. That’s when it becomes very hard — for both of us.
  • Naturally, that applies to our entire coaching team as well.

Warmly,

Gregor